Surrender

“If you want to see the impossible, you have to completely surrender your life to God”

Intense right? Boy oh boy did I need to hear that this morning though. I was doing very well the past few months of giving my worry and anxieties to that Jesus dude. And then BAM last week it seemed to happen overnight… I was back the second I woke up and opened my eyes, instantly feeling sick to my stomach, heart pounding, the whole nine yards.

I have to be honest when I say I struggle very seriously with the unknown. Life has never really given me a steady ground to walk along, and everything has always been uncertain. I have always lived my life waiting very impatiently for the next “blow”. I like to be in control and I like to know the outcome of things and when I am put in situations there is no way for me to be clear of the outcome I panic something wicked.

I spent so much of my time in the past week and half dwelling on what move I should make. What words I should say at just the right time. What feelings I should show verse which ones I should suppress. What people I should allow to stay close to my day to day.

None of it did me any good.

And I knew the answer all along.

I even spoke the words, “I know that I’m feeling this way again because I have lost focus on God and have put way too much focus on the worldly things.” Meaning I should have been able to immediately change my direction and sail forward. But for whatever reason I kept stewing more and more.

Today’s service… per usual, blew my mind. It’s amazing to me how such seemingly simply words that we all already “know” can rock your boat.

“Let go of your need to control the situation”

I am seriously considering putting that line on the wallpaper of my phone. So I can see it and say and try desperately to live it every day. I’m working very intentionally on letting it go people. Because I have faith in that Jesus dude. I have faith that he will provide for me. And I have to be willing to surrender it ALL to him. I cannot control other people. I can only control the actions I take on a daily basis.

I’m beyond ready to watch the impossible happen

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding”

Proverbs 3|5